So of course this picture of my friend and I was taken Halloween this year.- She and I arrange an annual play date at our local zoo each Halloween so our daughters can enjoy “Boo at the Zoo” together.
I know you are wondering HMMMMM—So let me just say upfront that NOPE our costume selection was totally NOT PLANNED… we literally showed up at the Zoo, looked at each other, and busted out laughing. You see she and I have children the exact same age the BIG GROWN 4! LOL So it is no surprise that we were both feeling a little MOMMA powerish this Halloween.
So any-who my friend and I met while attending the same college in the Atlanta area. After college we both ventured away to Graduate/Professional, eventually pursued some pretty high level professional careers (Me College Dean & Friend Attorney) our paths later crossed allowing us to reconnect when we both moved back to the city. We connected over the fact that we put our blood, sweat, and tears chasing careers that we had dreamed of all of our lives and now we are JUST moms! AHAHA
Now for me, mommy and wife were always in the cards BUT I had no idea of the challenges that would present itself ahead when you are the mom of THREE and the WIFE of in addition to the BOSS! From working 12 hour days, Up all night with sick children, breast feeding around the clock, taxing kids around town, and being a stand up wife and the alpha and omega at work life could NOT get anymore hectic. So then I became envious of “other moms” and use to think that being a “different type” of mom would lessen these challenges. Thinking to myself well “If You know well if I were a teacher with a flexible schedule” OR “If I were a stay at home mom with no employment responsibilities” OR OR “If I were a work from home mom” Than I would have none of these challenges created in my head! I though the “IF ONLY” thoughts we use to beat ourselves up?
I overwhelmed myself with my overthinking and pearl clutching about societal standards and what people would think of a woman like me who…went through all of this schooling,professional preparation, glass ceiling pursuing and ladder climbing only to later throw in the towel— JUST because she is somebody’s MOMMY! That one thought haunted me for so many years and honestly right up until this day…Although I want to be able to be a room parent and not have to think about what was on my work calendar and I want to be able to drop my children off and pick them up from school AND want to not have to admit that we have a Nanny because between my husband and I we simply cant do some of those basic things that all parents do! And WHY because our CAREERS do not accommodate the “traditional” parent schedule.
Then one day after compiling data (i.e stories from all the mommies that I knew who it into every single mom category known to man) I uncovered that AHA Moment “HEY WAYMENT—All Moms are NOT Created Equally!!!
So I say all of this to share a my AHA moment with you:
“Each mom is motivated by different factors and various reasons. You may have decided NOT to pursue the corporate life-Or stepped down from an executive leadership post-Or may have opted for the stay at home / work from home life…. BUT whateva choice YOU made embrace it!!! Find comfort in YOUR decision to do what YOU felt was BEST to accommodate the needs of YOUR family! There is NO universal recipe to baking this #MOMLife cake!” Sonyaism (2017)